AUGUST
Dear Reader: We expected this to happen but it is still so sad. Our contract as English teachers for foreign students ended. We can find other jobs but the hard part is to get used to new environment, new habits and to… not being able to see our students anymore.
How can we not feel sadness when at the farewell party, our students were tearful? Some were apologizing for whatever wrong they felt they have caused. We have laughed, played, sang songs and joked with them for more than eight months. Oh, before I forget… ‘reasoned’ and ran after them.
I was invisible to one of my students, not out of spite but because I would not let him play during class. We played ‘hide-and-seek’ for two weeks until he realized I would not budge. Suddenly, I felt accepted. He cajoled me when he wanted something or wanted to go somewhere; left his books and sweater on my table for me to fix; asked for my opinion whether that brand of shoes was good or not; and surprised me with his answers when I thought he was not listening. He had worn his shirts printed with his favorite cartoon character because he promised to show me.
To me, he became like a younger brother: indifferent enough as if to say, “Hey! I am a big boy now. Don’t you dare rumple my hair”, but unexpectedly sweet. I am the youngest among three children. I only have an older brother who married at what I consider a young age. We have a younger cousin who we regard as our younger brother but it is not the nature in our family to be demonstrative or to show affection openly.
For some reasons, other than no student stayed with a teacher for a very long time, he was removed from my schedule. I did not do anything not even when I learned that he protested and almost cried to his new teacher. I thought it was the best way for both our sakes so that when the time came for us to part, it won’t be so difficult. I only regretted that I did not give any encouraging words to him.
When he distanced himself altogether, I let him be. Maybe he somehow felt I let him down or shyness overcame him because I appeared unaffected. He never smiled nor talked to me again though he stayed near and sometimes watched me in a distance. He greeted me once but only because I greeted him first. I intended to talk to him at the farewell party but he was not there. No one knew where he was. I guess I handled the situation sloppily.
During those last days, I felt closer to my students. I did not regard them as just my students but also as my friends. I did not expect to enjoy being with people I just met.
Well, I have memories to remember and to learn lessons from should there be a need. I can smile now and think it rather fun, chasing after students. It was another chapter lived.
*** next: SEPTEMBER
